So, I’m 14 and I’ve had social phobia for years. I’ve never gotten treatment for it, but now I think I really should, because it seems like its getting worse! The problem is, though, I’m worried that after I’m "cured" I may start thinking differently.

Let me start from the beginning. When I was about 5 years old, I was just like any other kid. I was happy and extreamly outgoing. Everything was fine until I started getting teased. I’d get teased every single day from people at school, and even my own family members. (And some of this still goes on today.) So, I stopped being out going and kept to myself. That was the way it was from then on. But now, it’s taking over my life. I can’t even go to the store and be at peace. Like, when I go grocery shopping with my mom, I freak out when she goes off somewhere and leaves me alone. And when I’m there, like walking around and stuff, I always tend to pull the bottom of my shirt down. I don’t really try to…I just do. And at school, I try to skip lunch and go to the library. (The lunchroom has too many people there.) And when I do go to lunch, I go to the closest table I can find, becuase it makes me nervous to just have to stand there and look for a table because I feel that people are watching me. And i get so nervous when I have to do something on stage in Acting class, I start shaking. Even after I’m finished I’d still be shaking and my heart would still be beating rapidly. I could go on forever, but I’m just going to get to the point…

After being this way for so long, it’s changed the way i think. I mean, I’m really pessimistic and think negativly about myself…and I fear that if I get "cured" I won’t do that anymore. It’s like I’m so used to being negative and being alone, that I’ve actually come to like it. But I don’t actually like it at times, too.

Sorry if this is confusing….but do you have any advice or anything?

Thanks

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