contradiction

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I am literally being pulled apart. There is an inherent contradiction between my perception and reality. I often feel useless, worthless, and undesirable, so obviously I avoid being noticed as much as possible. Others (women) have taken notice of me, but I have always found a way to avoid or to reject them without them knowing they have been rejected. Obviously, I want the love and affection of women, but I am unable reciprocate on a mature level.

When social anxiety becomes avoidant personality disorder…


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